It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize