HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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