stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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