I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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