dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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