bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Drunk is a universal language darling
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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