the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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