She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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