Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry