Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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