uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Randomize