I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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