he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
