Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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