I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
