Your tits are I can't wait for
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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