i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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