I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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