i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
