its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
