I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize