Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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