I think my vagina is haunted
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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