Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
