There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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