I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My cat gives me a boner
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
