Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
