me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize