Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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