I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure