Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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