And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is