Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music

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(202): Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music http://tfl.nu/ve57

Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (830)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.

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(203): there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous. http://tfl.nu/bkt2

Replies (20) Good night (2224) Bad night (673)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

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(402): Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you. http://tfl.nu/55t9

Replies (34) Good night (3319) Bad night (829)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish

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(920): in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish http://tfl.nu/24oc

Replies (27) Good night (5352) Bad night (772)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

And that worked?

(919): View more from North Carolina

9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

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(919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso

Replies (70) Good night (13517) Bad night (1486)
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(970): View more from Colorado

found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.

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(970): found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night. http://tfl.nu/fgij

Replies (1) Good night (1953) Bad night (731)
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(253): View more from Washington

May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.

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(253): May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon. http://tfl.nu/x8lc

Replies (4) Good night (1235) Bad night (954)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.

(1-507): View more from Minnesota

We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.

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(507): I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies. (1-507): We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA. http://tfl.nu/9erc

Replies (21) Good night (2376) Bad night (868)
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(443): View more from Maryland

you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend

(703): View more from Virginia

You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.

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(443): you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend (703): You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence. http://tfl.nu/no32

Replies (4) Good night (1587) Bad night (479)
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(206): View more from Washington

Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.

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(206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/wvly

Replies (4) Good night (1624) Bad night (501)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.

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(402): I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story. http://tfl.nu/wp0p

Replies (11) Good night (643) Bad night (1771)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.

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(312): I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos. http://tfl.nu/0zir

Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (398)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk

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(630): Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk http://tfl.nu/5as6

Replies (1) Good night (1037) Bad night (318)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.

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(202): She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood. http://tfl.nu/9x0w

Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (474)
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(713): View more from Texas

The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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(713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5

Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (207)

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