know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox