Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...

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  (318): But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right... http://tfl.nu/e947
  Replies (4) Good night (1198) Bad night (494)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  did i?

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  (732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum
  Replies (33) Good night (7792) Bad night (874)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...

  (971): View more from Oregon

  it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.

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  (971): one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull. (706): i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer... (971): it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible. http://tfl.nu/efvs
  Replies (9) Good night (4243) Bad night (976)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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  (207): He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ. http://tfl.nu/rtl1
  Replies (25) Good night (9561) Bad night (1038)
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  (818): View more from California

  Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.

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  (818): Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in. http://tfl.nu/o2x8
  Replies (9) Good night (1383) Bad night (2441)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.

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  (712): Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS. http://tfl.nu/utzb
  Replies (30) Good night (1429) Bad night (6248)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.

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  (978): I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek. http://tfl.nu/dtfv
  Replies (5) Good night (1719) Bad night (792)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (603)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.

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  (414): Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking. http://tfl.nu/i6qu
  Replies (16) Good night (1775) Bad night (570)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What happened to my knees?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.

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  (919): What happened to my knees? (1-919): You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded. http://tfl.nu/49nz
  Replies (2) Good night (823) Bad night (525)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.

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  (719): I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right. http://tfl.nu/asg0
  Replies (8) Good night (1325) Bad night (437)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.

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  (616): I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers. http://tfl.nu/1m5q
  Replies (0) Good night (582) Bad night (332)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness

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  (215): they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness http://tfl.nu/sk3k
  Replies (3) Good night (1749) Bad night (555)
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  (415): View more from California

  nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar

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  (415): nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar http://tfl.nu/dyhy
  Replies (11) Good night (1134) Bad night (352)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."

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  (281): I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off." http://tfl.nu/27tg
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (387)

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