Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.

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(513): K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one. http://tfl.nu/m0eu

Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (894)
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(818): View more from California

Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

(714): View more from California

Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

(818): View more from California

Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

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(818): Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong... (714): Didn't you just get a DUI last week? (818): Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it http://tfl.nu/by7p

Replies (3) Good night (2890) Bad night (848)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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(203): I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche. http://tfl.nu/n3n6

Replies (4) Good night (2493) Bad night (666)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.

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(812): I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way. http://tfl.nu/t9el

Replies (24) Good night (7956) Bad night (834)
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(707): View more from California

tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?

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(707): tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/o0vq

Replies (16) Good night (995) Bad night (4856)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.

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(517): Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops. http://tfl.nu/nf4z

Replies (9) Good night (4333) Bad night (965)
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(614): View more from Ohio

she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.

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(614): she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie. http://tfl.nu/xhiw

Replies (14) Good night (4351) Bad night (1153)
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(352): View more from Florida

The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

(1-352): View more from Florida

Oh God. You're going to jail

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(352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu

Replies (30) Good night (6235) Bad night (1743)
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(807): View more from Ontario

My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.

(1-807): View more from Ontario

I don't see the problem

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(807): My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive. (1-807): I don't see the problem http://tfl.nu/s96d

Replies (5) Good night (1750) Bad night (691)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!

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(505): She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before! http://tfl.nu/qmyv

Replies (10) Good night (2241) Bad night (512)
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(850): View more from Florida

For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.

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(850): For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot. http://tfl.nu/k004

Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (363)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.

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(832): Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober. http://tfl.nu/wntc

Replies (7) Good night (1110) Bad night (354)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4

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(706): I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4 http://tfl.nu/1te5

Replies (7) Good night (431) Bad night (680)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.

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(306): oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear... (1-306): I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing. http://tfl.nu/2wjm

Replies (5) Good night (741) Bad night (307)
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(469): View more from Texas

He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.

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(469): He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is. http://tfl.nu/q0lq

Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (337)

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