btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
