she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.