Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
