College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
