She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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