It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
