If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
