haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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