I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
