He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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