we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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