I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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