I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
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Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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