I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
