So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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