I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
