I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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