Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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