I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
