Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have post one night stand depression
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