YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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