Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
