my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
