I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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